As today starts a whole new year, I imagine you are contemplating what resolutions you will commit yourself to for the coming year. One of the best ways to move forward is to contemplate what obstacles are holding us back and try to work on those. I want to present you with some observations of a couple of things that are typical obstacles for many of us, including myself. 

The first obstacle I’ve seen many struggle with is around our truth. We have spent so many years building up walls and mastering the “spin”. It’s an incredibly strong and powerful coping mechanism for sure. And we have learned to use the truth like a chess piece. We became good at hiding it or spinning it…only sharing a little of our truth with different people depending on what we want or need from them. And it keeps us safe. And some could argue that skill is not an obstacle…that it has allowed us to get further and navigate in ways we couldn’t by being completely honest. But at what cost? We argue that it allows us to “protect” people around us and in the short term it does, but ultimately it really only protects us. And it makes me so sad that we feel like we need that much protection. Because it keeps the truth of us buried down deep inside. Most of us don't let anyone know our whole truth, and I dare say not even ourselves. How could we? We have manipulated it for so long that I wonder how much of our own truth we're aware of and how much just bubbles to the surface in moments of discord and reveal something to us about ourselves. And that is clearly an obstacle to our self-growth. Not living our truth in all it’s messy glory injures our souls. I’ve watched it happen to myself and others and it has broken my heart more than I care to think about. 

So my ultimate wish is that we let ourselves live our truth. That we let the walls come down so we can really know ourselves. And then I hope we find someone we can share that with. Really let them know us. In all the messiness and f@#%*-up-ness of what we think are the bad parts. Be vulnerable enough to let someone in to see those parts. ALL of the parts. If that person also knows and accepts the dark sides of themselves then it will only make them love us more. I know it's hard to believe that...and I know that sounds scary...but we can't know true connection unless we're willing to let them see us. And if they leave then that's not who we want anyway. We will find the one that will stay because they love us even more every time we let them see more of us. And we will know true peace...true connection…true acceptance...and true love for the first time in our lives. Let go of the old stuff and the fear and the walls and give over to love.  And if we let go, REALLY let go of the fear…fear of failing…fear of commitment...fear of getting hurt...I know we will find that person. The right person will be drawn to us. And we will be able to trust them and they won’t hurt us like so many have in the past. We have to trust in that and see it. It is already a done deal, it’s in motion. Allow it to happen. Don’t waste another moment of life closed off to it. It’s what we are on this earth for. Let yourself have it. Please don't accept anything less! We NEVER have to accept anything less. 

And that brings me to my second observation.  We have lived our lives not asking for what we want, which goes along with not living our truth. We HAVE to start asking for what we want...demanding it. Let that be our life mission...to go out and get everything we want. While being true to ourselves and presenting that true self to the world. I don’t know where we learned that we shouldn’t ask for what we want. I don’t know if we feel like we can’t have it, or we're not worthy to have it, or if we have just been told no so many times we stopped trying. I don’t know if we even know why we don’t go after what we want. I think at times it doesn’t even dawn on us as an option. But, if we can think it in our brain, we can have it. And on the flip side this includes having the courage to end what we don’t like. Like relationships. We drag out endings because we can't just ask for what we want and hold our ground. Somehow other's protection and wants and needs supersede our own. No more. If we don’t like something, either change it because it’s important or end it. We're worth that! 

So my hope is that we start asking ourselves, every single day, “What if” questions. What if this job were everything I dreamed it would be? What if I lived in my dream home in my dream neighborhood? What if I found my true soulmate and it was the relationship of my dreams? Ask those questions EVERY DAY. Our subconscious starts looking for the answers. Our conscious starts looking for the answers. And it makes us happy to think of those answers. It puts us in the space where it actually happens. It will be drawn to us. 

My absolute wish in the coming year is that we go out and take the life that's meant for us. One ask at a time. And live for the real us. Let someone in and let them see us. All of us. Don't be what we think others want us to be. Show them who we are. No apologies. Throw off the fears…we only live this life once. And we will have a great life! That is my 2017 wish. May this truly be the most wonderful year of your entire life. Happy New Year! 

This is a video by Ashton Aiden at Brainwavelove.com. It is a short, but quite powerful video with a helpful daily exercise that can have a profound impact on your life. Here is the link to the video on his site. I hope you find it as useful as I did.

http://www.brainwavelove.com/free-success-coaching-questions/

As human beings, we crave belonging. A sense of connection. But I think in that craving we sometimes lose ourselves. So many of us alter our thoughts, behaviors, and actions to "fit in" with a group or another person. Sometimes we do it consciously to gain some type of advantage in business or creating relationships. But it's the unconscious changes that do the most damage. Those are the ones you eventually lose control of. When you don't even realize you've changed. When you no longer live your truth and don't even know it.

Do you live your truth? Do you REALLY know what your truth is anymore? As you stop and think about that for a few moments, ask yourself is that really your truth or someone else's. Is the feeling, thought, etc actually coming from inside you or coming from wanting to "fit". Mark Twain said "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." That doesn't always mean that you won't reflect and realize that you really do agree with the majority of those you surround yourself with. But you should always stop and make sure. Awareness can make all the difference since it allows you to make your conscious choices from a place of knowing what you truly want or feel.

We are all born with an emotional guidance system. It allows us to move through life ensuring that we are creating a life worth living. One that brings us joy and continues to guide us in the right direction. If something feels good, keep doing it or moving in that direction. If something feels bad, move away from that. When something feels bad, it gives us a clearer view of what we want (because it's essentially the opposite of the bad thing). But here's the rub...does it feel bad based on YOUR beliefs and feelings or because of someone else's? Your family, your group of friends, or simply the social construct of the region where you live. 

This is where your work comes in. First is identifying the fear. Fear of not fitting in. Fear of what people will think of you. Fear of rejection. Many of us are stuck here. We haven't even realized that fear is playing such a huge role in how we think, feel and act. But when you are sitting in the dark on a beautiful black sand beach off the northern coast of Costa Rica looking up at a million stars poking holes of light in the night sky waiting for a green sea turtle to finish building her nest so you can watch the miracle of her laying her eggs...it hits you. It's just you. It's always been just you. It always will be just you.

What really matters right now is who I am and how I feel about myself. In this moment it doesn't matter what kind of car I drive. It doesn't matter how much money I make or whether all of my coworkers approve of me as a person. It doesn't matter how many TVs I have or how many likes I get for a picture I post on Facebook. It doesn't matter if anyone else on the planet approves of who I love. All of those people making judgments on our lives are not here. And those people will move in and out of our lives anyway so why would we change who we are to meet THEIR needs or expectations? It's likely they are in our lives to raise our awareness. To shine a light on something. It's our job to become aware of that.

The second part of your work is being courageous enough to be you. Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, said "Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy--the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." I don't think we ever feel the depth of true joy unless we are being our true selves. Which is counter intuitive as we strive to create that belonging by changing to be something we think others will accept. Exactly the opposite of how we should be doing it!
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So as you move through life and try to determine what's real for you or not, think about being on that beach in Costa Rica. Sit still. Meditate. Take the time to get to know yourself. And then dare to live from that place. And then those that are supposed to be in your life...the ones that will love the real you..the ones that you will find that true deep connection with will come.

And that is true peace.

I just got home from attending an Atlanta Falcons football game at The Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA. They were playing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and it was the first professional football game I've ever been to. The stadium holds about 71,000 people and it was approximately 80% full so there were roughly 56,000 there with me. I typically don't enjoy being around a lot of people and at times can have panic attacks in crowds. That surprisingly never crossed my mind though at any point from accepting the invitation to walking in and making my way through the crowds to get to our seats. Given that it never crossed my mind that I might have a problem with the crowd, I had done no manifestation exercises to prepare. I attribute the ease and relaxed experience to meditation, which I've been doing religiously since just before writing the book. Another benefit of meditation is taking the time to experience the present and feel the joy within those moments.

So as I was looking around at all the people in the stands and taking in the experience...being present...everyone started to make noise. Messages on multiple big screens around the stadium were prompting the fans to make noise to distract the other team's offense. It was amazing! Everyone was chanting or cheering or just beating on the chair in front of them and it was SO loud. And when the other team failed to make the first down everyone cheered just as loudly. It gave me goose bumps. All those people with the same energy, the same intent. It was infectious. I am not a football fan and didn't really care who won the game, but I felt like I wanted what they wanted. The energy was palpable and each fan's energy was swirling around with another fan's energy and it was growing into something bigger than each of them independently. There was this one massive energy intentioning the Falcons to win. 

I tend to be quite empathic and greatly affected by energies. It's one of the reasons I have panic attacks in crowds. I always forget how affected I am so I don't do anything to prepare myself and it all comes in too fast and it's too much to take. I get overwhelmed and end up having to leave or get away to make it stop. But today was very different. While I definitely felt the energies, it wasn't overwhelming. At least not in a negative or "too much" kind of way. It was overwhelmingly positive. Even the fans screaming at the referees, which is quite negative, still had the same "positive" intention as everyone else. It got me thinking about what would happen if every one of those fans read my book and all had the same imaginary event during their manifestation exercise in the week leading up to the game. An imaginary event that went something like this:

Reporter: "Coach Quinn, congratulations on your win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!"
Head Coach: "Thank you! We played really well and it paid off for us today!"

That's it. This "end of the movie" scene is the best way to manifest the Falcons winning because it focuses on an event that indicates they won and puts no thought or focus on HOW they would do it. So if every one of those 56,000 fans did this every night following the instructions in the book for the Manifestation Exercise it couldn't fail! It makes me want to run an experiment, but I'm guessing that trying to call 56,000 people wouldn't be the best use of my time. Aside from the awkward conversation THAT would be.

But then it gets me thinking about what we could do as a planet if we could get massive amounts of people to work together. To "sponsor" each other...co-create...and manifest easily what would otherwise be considered miracles.

​Ok, I have to get dialing. Who's with me?